Burn the ships - Best Advice ever

I have thought about this a thousand times. Burn the ships. Then I hesitate. Then I picture in my mind's eye what the flames look like. My heart races. My palms are sweaty. I feel a little nauseous. So I put down the matches.

All of this is a metaphor of course. I am not a pyromaniac. Not a firebug. I don't have a desire to burn anything down, physically. What I want, leave behind the part of my life that brings pain and frustration. Wipe it all out and start fresh, with wisdom and perspective that comes with age and experience.

What am I talking about REALLY? Stop with the "vague booking". Veiled comments looking for sympathy and sympathetic comments.

Rip that damn bandage off. Remove the scales. So here goes.

I have said it for a couple of years now. Just unfriend, unfollow. Never think of them. Don't stalk their page, post, or blog. Then my dad said recently, totally out of character for his Dr. Spoke like logical non-emotional demeanor, "Get on with it already, you have been saying you are going to do that for years"

OUCH. hot tears burst from my eyes. My throat was tight and my jaw suddenly hurt. Nausea welled up from my belly and I was in total flight mode.

He was right. Get on with it already. Best advice ever.

I know what I need to do. I know why I need to do it.

WHY oh WHY is it still so hard to just burn it? The FRIEND-SHIPS.

Why is it so hard to say goodbye, and close the door on friendships that you thought would last forever? To stop following on social media. Click "unfollow " and then UNFRIEND.

It's because I was taught early on, to not burn bridges (in this case ships). After all, you never know if you have to cross it again. Well fuck that. Yup. I have a potty mouth. Fuck that advice.

"They" didn't mean to be mean. NEWS FLASH

Yes, they did. If they didn't, they wouldn't.

We have all heard it. "If they want to, they will. If they don't they won't". THIS is good advice and true. Best advice.

I do it. I'm guilty.

If I don't want to answer my phone. I don't If I don't want to respond to a text - I don't

Epiphany - I guess they burnt the ships - with me, first.

Why am I sharing all of this? Well, I am burning the friendships. Awe - see what I did there -

SHIPs.

They are burning. Maybe I can help you strike that match too.

Grown ass woman playing with matches.

Do you think there will be flames, or just the smell of sulfur and then quiet? In real terms, what would you do? What did you do? Would you do the same again?

I would love to hear from you.

While you are busy doing life...life happens

When you are busy doing life, life happens.

When life gets in the way

When things settle down, let's catch up

When I get this project done I'll give you a call

When I get back from this business trip

Let me check my calendar and get back to you

I am not feeling well today

Sorry I didn't hit send on my text

I have been meaning to call

Hello

Did you get my message?

You didn't get my text, oh I guess it's my dang phone

Hello

Hello.

Hello?

I learned a few things. Really learned them and now have applied them to my life. That is what it is when you know something. You take a new skill and use it.

If they want to they will. It's about priorities. People are telling you every day, where you are on their list. Listen to them. They are telling you the truth. When they don't return your call, your text. When they don't acknowledge your humorous retort to their social media post, they are telling you where you rank. When they no longer include you, consult you, check in on you. Listen to them. The silence you will hear is deafening!

I read a quote recently,

God will continue to put the same lesson into your life until you learn it.

Stings like a paper cut. I'm listening.

I am flexing my new cerebral skills.

I never subscribed to the seasons of friendship theory. I understand that sometimes you encounter people in your life and they don't stay. Childhood friends, college, a job. But people you have known and entrusted with your secrets, vacationed with, supported in joy and in crushing sorrow, they are forever right? Not so much.

For a long time, I thought it was ME. I'll change myself, you know because I cannot change them. I'll ask all the questions about what I did to deserve the shun. Nothing. I finally notice exactly what they were saying. It's totally about them. Not me. And now I am so good.

Tell me, what has been a struggle you have tried to understand? Did you read books, or talk to a professional? Are you one who is really good at letting it all go?

I am so curious.

What’s for dinner? A question heard around the world.

What’s for dinner?

A question heard around the world. If you are a planner or a spur-of-the-moment person this question seems to give people pause.

What IS for dinner? A check of the pantry, refrigerator, and freezer can bring an immediate idea. On other days a trip to the grocery. Perhaps you have pre-assembled the dish and just need to cook it. On other days, it's leftovers or takeout.

Do you have a delivery service for meals ready to go after following a few step-by-step instruction cards?

Are you a recipe book person or a cook from memory person with decades of family recipes store on handwritten notecards, or sheets of paper with stains from years of use?

I am a bit of all of this. I grew up in a home with many recipes and dishes passed down from relatives. My parents took such great care of us and continue to do so. My mother is creative and tried something new often. Keeping a busy brood intrigued by a meal is still her specialty. My father, the master of the grill! He loves to be at the helm of the fire with his favorite tongs. Watching my siblings and me horsing around. Grandchildren and a multitude of family pets enjoy the green grass of his big yard and large kitchen. Our boisterous voices fill the air with jokes and laughter and the occasional “ hey watch me do this” as a challenge to all in earshot to then try said activity.

Back to the daily pressing question. What IS for dinner?

The question is never far from my mind. It often arrives in my ears mid-morning, as my husband, who works from home is thinking about the end of his day and what will fill his belly. This is often a rhetorical question course. He doesn't leave all meals to me. He is an amazing chef/cook and head kitchen destroyer! For the record, he is truly talented and loves assembling all the wild ingredients and fancy techniques. I enjoy every bite and I am happy to clean up!

It’s a completely fair exchange.

This brings me to my latest answer to the What’s for dinner question. I responded, "I saw this video clip on Instagram". Let's give it a whirl. I am accomplished in the kitchen too, having run a ski chalet in France many years ago. That story is for another blog entry.

If you have attempted to follow a recipe online, there are usually many advertisements jumping up on the screen, ingredients missing and steps only a seasoned chef would know to do in the cooking process. A pleasant surprise was in store for me.

I watched a video and oh wow! This looks simple I can do this. Dill-crusted salmon.

Writing about this meal is making my mouth water.

I sent my husband to the grocery to collect the ingredients. We had olive oil, salt, pepper, pecans, eggs, (egg white was needed) parmesan cheese, and garlic in our pantry. We needed salmon fillets, fresh lemons, and a huge bunch of fresh dill. He also brought a bottle of pinot grigio. He knows me well.

Here is my quick take on a beautiful recipe by @Cookingwithfiona

I suggest you follow this talented woman. You will have delicious answers to What’s for Dinner?

I hope I made the question much easier to answer today.

Enjoy!

Follow - @cookingwithfiona on Instagram for the recipe and full instruction video.

I would love to hear how your version turned out. Drop us a note, we may just feature you in a future post!